We at Cooking Rage love the holidays. What is it about this special time of year? Is it the delightful seasonal coinciding of unreasonable familial expectations and the fact that you definitely sent the text message about Dan TO Dan that really makes the season sing? Or is it the confusion your in laws feel about why you are following CDC guidelines during a global pandemic? It’s really hard to say!
As 2020 winds to a close we are thinking so much about what we have to be grateful for this year, like how the frozen chicken actually needed three and not two days to defrost in the refrigerator and was still pink after an hour and a half in the goddamn fucking oven on Christmas goddamn day because I’m Jewish why the fuck are we even doing this? We learned so much in 2020 and grew a lot, all because we had no job at all and that one time we tried to make pita bread we ended up with some some flatbread bullshit instead because we can’t do anything right. We got stronger and smarter all year despite our many hurdles and even figured out that, with enough sesame seeds, pretty much anything you cook after ten months of surviving a semi-avoidable never-fucking-ending quarantine will create incredible opportunities to burn every pan you own. And throughout it all, we relied on that most important thing: alcohol. We also built our own cat castle! Please send help!
So here’s to a bright and shiny new year where republicans are going to get vaccinated waaaaay before the school teachers working in school districts that have been systemically destroyed will be! And who knows? Maybe by the end of 2021 there won’t be a bucatini shortage anymore. We aren’t going to get our hopes up, but dang, it sure feels nice to have something to look forward to!