Sadness Burrito

It’s too hot for October and we are all going to die and this knowledge makes me hungry for burrito. Wanting burrito makes me homesick. Homesickness makes me sad because all the ingredients I use in burrito are contributing to global warming, even the onions, and when I go home I am part of the problem and NOT part of the solution because planes are like beans to the atmosphere. And nothing I do will right the course of human history. So I’m gonna go ahead and add extra onions to burrito because I am so upset about global warming, and San Francisco is very far away, and Brooklyn is hot even though it’s October.


You can put anything in burrito. Here’s what I put into mine:

Burrito Filling
1 clove garlic, minced
A small piece of tofu, crumbled
5 mushrooms, sliced
2 handfuls of spinach
Lemon juice

  1. Heat 1 tsp olive oil in a large nonstick pan. Add garlic and stir, then add mushrooms and let cook until mushrooms are toasty.
  2. Shake on some oregano and a pinch of salt.
  3. Add spinach and lemon juice (I used about 2 tsp juice).
  4. Stir until spinach is wilted. Add salt and pepper and set aside.

Burrito additions 
1 small tomato, diced
1/8 red onion, diced
Couple of sprigs of cilantro if you have it, chopped
Juice of 1/2 lime
Sliced avocado
Sour cream
Shredded cheese
Hot sauce

  1. Mix together tomato, onion, cilantro if you have it, and lime, with some salt. This is salsa. I’ve recently educated myself about tomato farming, and humans are the worst.
  2. Heat tortilla in pan by putting flame on low and placing tortilla in pan. Add shredded cheese and cover tortilla with a lid.


3. When tortilla is warm and the bottom is toasty, put on a plate.
4. Add your mushroom/tofu filling, salsa, avocado, sour cream, and hot sauce.


Burrito Assembly

  1. Wrap burrito by tucking the short sides of the tortilla, then taking the long end and sort of wrapping the fillings under it. This makes burrito fat and happy.
  2. I fail literally every time.


Burrito Finale

  1. Fuck it. Eat with chips.