Cooking Rage Presents: Holiday Cooking

It’s December 1st! You know what that means? That it’s time to start preparing for all the Holidays You Have To Celebrate with Your Family and Other People You Might Not Like!

To prepare for this festive time, we thought it would be helpful to offer you some suggestions for what to serve when you run out of money and no one is allowed to drink in front of Ted.

  1. Mixed nuts: These little treats also have the added benefit of being potential choking hazards or making Jill break out in a rash (who invited her, anyway?)
  2. Crackers and cheeze: Assure your vegan guests that you are serving the cheeze in a can that has no actual lactose in it, and remind the gluten-free that all the crackers they can eat are made out of nuts, anyway, so see suggestion #1.
  3. Curry of some form: Mostly to piss off Aunt Linda.
  4. Apple pie: A classic that goes well with any meal. Of course by “apple pie” we mean putting an apple on a piece of bread and broiling it in the oven until the house burns down.
Just kidding I don’t have any bread

Happy Holidays, America!

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