Nothing says “I would like to knife fight you” like making pancakes only for yourself the morning after a night-fight with your person. I don’t mean, like, a recipe for one, either. No. I mean you go ahead and make a big-ass batch of pancake batter and eat a big-ass plate of pancakes while making angry eyes at your (asshole) boo. Cuz I mean really, you wanna be a dick? That’s cool. But make your own goddamn pancakes.
Knife Fight Pancakes
3/4 c. white flour
3/4 c. whole wheat flour
1 3/4 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
3 TB sugar
1 c. buttermilk (or almond/soy/cow milk)
3 TB canola oil
1/2 tsp. vanilla
1. Sift together flour, baking powder, salt, and sugar in a bowl. If you are too angry to sift, use a fork or whisk to whisk together.
2. In a separate bowl, whisk together eggs, milk, oil, and vanilla. Add to dry mixture and stir. If you want to add approx 1/2 c. blueberries or strawberries or chocolate chips, do it.
3. Heat butter/margarine on a griddle till sizzling. Spoon batter onto the griddle when it’s hot, and wait until small bubbles begin to form in the middle of the pancake, about 2 minutes.
4. Using a spatula, flip the pancakes. Cook till golden on the other side.
5. Serve with butter, syrup, bananas, strawberries, fudge sauce, whatever. Just don’t share.