My favorite thing about the latest stage of capitalism that we are all doing our best to survive despite increasingly insurmountable odds is that we are listening to Famous American Actors, like, a lot. We are listening to them on daytime talk shows, we are listening to them on night time talk shows, we are listening to them on podcasts, we are listening to them on the ads on podcasts; we are even listening to them when they speak their lines in a scripted series or film, sometimes, when we feel like putting our phones down so we can actually watch and absorb whatever is happening onscreen! America has really become a nation of good listeners and that is why I’m so proud to be one. Of course, sometimes Famous American Actors talk about topics that make us uncomfortable, like when Whoopi Goldberg said that the Holocaust wasn’t about race. Soooo, in the spirit of listening, I want to offer some perspective on why we shouldn’t be mad at Whoopi and also give you the recipe for this amazing veggie broth I made from scratch!
First up? The most important person in my life: Whoopi Goldberg.
I love Whoopi Goldberg. She wears the same kind of glasses that all my favorite elderly women wear, only hers are gray instead of red, and I think she is an amazing actor because, like all Famous American Actors, she is also a historian and a trained philosopher who holds a degree in engineering that she uses for all her extraordinary work as a rainforest conservator. I mean-wow! Famous American Actors are amazing!
So when Whoopi said “the Holocaust wasn’t about race,” I really think we’re all missing the point of why she said it. I mean, Whoopi is also a professor of Ethics at Brandeis University and she was clearly offering Americans a teachable moment about why we need to ban critical race theory from our schools; because when we make everything about race, we end up saying things that *might* upset some thorny Jews and their allies, who I think identify as Muslins but I’m not totally sure. It’s such a slippery slope, is my point! And honestly? At the end of the day, Whoopi, like all Famous American Actors, is in the position of power that she is in because she can teach us things, you guys. She’s not just here to tell us how to get a discount from Hello Fresh; we have to respect the fact that sometimes–like all good teachers–Whoopi Goldberg is going to say things that we just aren’t ready to hear.
So I think we need to leave Whoopi alone. She is just doing her job and she is doing excellent at it, which is why–as one of America’s foremost Famous American Actor teachers–she is paid so much better than the dumb dumbs who work in the public school system. I know this is just my opinion, but honestly I think you should take a look at your own biases if you don’t agree with me, an occasionally banned member of the Reddit community. Here’s the recipe for my broth!
To make broth, throw all your trash into a pot and saute it in olive oil, salt, and whatever spices you can afford as a peon who isn’t talented or dedicated enough to get rich like a Famous American Actor!
Stir and don’t ask yourself why we’ve given away all of our power to people who are just as stupid as we are, ask yourself why you aren’t better at your job! Isn’t that why you have to make broth from trash?! Add water and let simmer.
The broth is done when it tastes like watery and vaguely bitter vegetal tea!
Oh, and stop fucking watching The View!