At Cooking Rage, we believe that there is little in life that can’t be made better by a nice, soothing bowl of spelt, especially on those days that you are rejected from a creative opportunity that you were in a “next round of consideration” for. The awesome thing about spelt is that, like art, it is ancient, indigestible, and no one knows what the fuck it is or what makes it delicious to some people and revolting to others, so eating it is both a punishment and a miracle–just like the life of an “emerging artist” who is also 134 years old.
We like our spelt cooked in a pot of boiling glue that you can inhale while trying to understand why you were asked about your availability for the artistic opportunity you have just been rejected from back in March, when it appeared that the artistic institution was very concerned about your availability. Ha ha ha, but no, actually, they were VERY concerned, at that time, back when they weren’t sure if you were stupid or not! The glue and the spelt melt together and then can’t be eaten for approximately 15 minutes, as they are too hot, and also you will not be getting any feedback about why your application was rejected after five months of consideration because the artistic institution simply does not have the time to respond to every.single.artist. You big dummy! Eat some spelt!