Why Did I Bake This: Whoopie Pies

Welcome to our newest cooking rage series, created for anyone who knows what it feels like to spend four hours of your life engaged in a concentrated effort to produce a final result that is basically as delicious as something you can buy wrapped in plastic at the bodega. You know how some things in life are just not that good, like all of CBS, but night after night you’re just like, “you know what whatever”?! That’s what whoopie pies are like!

What is a whoopie pie, you might ask, and why does this stupidly complicated recipe take so many hours to produce but a few failed cupcakes? To answer the former: they are far less hilarious than they sound. And as for the latter: we are really not sure, but as this recipe came from The NY Times we imagine it has something to do with the liberal elite. What we do know is that the butter was too soft because there is a one second difference between “room temperature” and “wrong,” which is becoming increasingly hard to navigate when it is consistently 90 degrees in the kitchen cuz climate change, and we have lost half a day of our lives to these C+ home ec requirements that are, like, not bad but also, really not that great?

Fun fact: whoopie pies are very popular in Maine, which explains why we had to boil apple cider for 30 minutes to make these little motherfuckers, and also why they are still driving around with their Bernie for President bumper stickers and MAGA hats!

they’re fine, I guess, whatever

Update by editor*: “they just needed to be refrigerated, you should say they’re actually really good”

*editor summers in Maine

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