Resume Fluffing Frittata

Surely–surely I have done more in my life than the four things I just wrote in 20 point font and double spaced. Right? And surely the 40 minutes I have spent attempting to format the heading so that it inconspicuously takes up half the page and listing “Talking” as a special skill is…is good. I am good at this. I have just written that I am the recipient of a prize that doesn’t exist. Who will notice? No one.

A few quick questions, and then I think I’m good to go.

It counts as teaching if you are just standing in front of a group of children, correct?

How strict does the definition of “experience” need to be? Can it include the number of hours I spend thinking about how great it would be to have this job? I’m going with yes? Great.

I can already feel the opportunities flowing.

Resume Fluffing Frittata
1/2 onion, chopped
1 small bell pepper, any size
3 cups kale, chopped, or spinach
6 eggs
milk
1/2 cup crumbled feta
dill
olive oil

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
2. Heat about 1TB olive oil in a nonstick pan. When hot, add onion and cook 3-4 minutes until they soften like your will to wake up before 10am tomorrow.
3. Add bell pepper and stir. Add kale or spinach and let wilt over heat, approx 3 minutes. Check your email again. LOL you didn’t miss anything.
4. When mixture is hot, turn off flame and move the pan onto a cool burner.
5. In a large bowl, whisk the eggs with a splash of milk and about 1TB of dill. Add the feta and cooked vegetable mixture and stir together.
6. Think about your life. Think about your choices. Who needs opportunity? Who needs change?
7. Pour into a pie pan. Bake at 400 degrees for 25-30 minutes, or longer if you like it extra brown on top and/or you have to keep watching Sex and the City just to “decompress.”