Surely–surely I have done more in my life than the four things I just wrote in 20 point font and double spaced. Right? And surely the 40 minutes I have spent attempting to format the heading so that it inconspicuously takes up half the page and listing “Talking” as a special skill is…is good. I am good at this. I have just written that I am the recipient of a prize that doesn’t exist. Who will notice? No one.
A few quick questions, and then I think I’m good to go.
It counts as teaching if you are just standing in front of a group of children, correct?
How strict does the definition of “experience” need to be? Can it include the number of hours I spend thinking about how great it would be to have this job? I’m going with yes? Great.
I can already feel the opportunities flowing.
Resume Fluffing Frittata
1/2 onion, chopped
1 small bell pepper, any size
3 cups kale, chopped, or spinach
1/2 cup crumbled feta
- Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
- Heat about 1TB olive oil in a nonstick pan. When hot, add onion and cook 3-4 minutes until they soften like your will to wake up before 10am tomorrow.
- Add bell pepper and stir. Add kale or spinach and let wilt over heat, approx 3 minutes. Check your email again. LOL you didn’t miss anything.
- When mixture is hot, turn off flame and move the pan onto a cool burner.
- In a large bowl, whisk the eggs with a splash of milk and about 1TB of dill. Add the feta and cooked vegetable mixture and stir together.
- Think about your life. Think about your choices. Who needs opportunity? Who needs change?
- Pour into a pie pan. Bake at 400 degrees for 25-30 minutes, or longer if you like it extra brown on top and/or you have to keep watching Sex and the City just to “decompress.”