Alternative Facts Cookies

Hello, friends! It’s been OH so long since we last checked in! There’s been so much going on around here, jeez, it’s like preparing for a nuclear winter or something ha ha ha! Just kidding.

This summer has been such a great experience, filled with observing the collapse of whole nations that no one cares about due to pesky inclement weather, and, of course, baking.

We at Cooking Rage have found that it’s super important to always have a whole arsenal of alternative ingredients like non-wheat flours and non-bean oils at the ready should you need to help shape the world view of any tree-hugging hippies in your life.

We saw the importance of alternative substances the day we whipped up these cookies while explaining to Desiree why we think Scott Pruitt is doing a great job heading the EPA. We definitely support his habit of using taxpayer’s money to take low carbon airplane rides all the time, and think he is doing a fantastic job dismantling the Obama-era restrictions on things like clean air, soil, and water so we can put every money we have towards more important things like military.

Lol we guess those aren’t alternative facts, just regular ones, and what we mean is that we love Scotty regardless of the things he’s doing or not doing depending on who is talking about it.

By the time Desiree was stress eating these cute little chocolate-studded cookies–all made with totally earth-friendly ingredients like almonds and coconuts–we’re pretty sure she agreed with us, though we’re not totally sure about what. And that, friends, is really all that matters.

Let’s get baking!

Alternative Facts Cookies

Also we told Desiree these are vegan.

1/2 cup almond meal
1/2 cup wheat flour, whole-grain
1/4 cup coconut flour (if you don’t have coconut flour, you can use extra almond or whole wheat flour instead)
1/4 cup flax seed meal (optional)
1/4 cup sweetened flaked coconut
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 c coconut oil
1 large egg
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 cup brown sugar
2/3 cup chocolate chips

1. Preheat oven to 350.
2. In a large mixing bowl, stir together oil, egg, vanilla and sugar.
3. In a separate bowl, mix almond meal, whole wheat flour, coconut flour, flax meal (if using), flaked coconut, baking powder, and salt. Mix gently while thinking about how amazing it will be when the Democrats finally shut up about healthcare and let Mitch fix everything.
4. Add dry to wet, mix till combined.
5. Add chocolate chips and incorporate into batter. This dough tastes like freedom.
6. To bake, line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Using a tablespoon, make little balls of dough. Space evenly like the distribution of wealth in North America.
7. Puerto Ricans aren’t, like, real citizens.
8. Bake 8-10 minutes.

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